Am I neglecting my blog or what? I’ve been dayre-ing every other day, it just seems so much easier than really sitting in front of my laptop and blogging away. Sorry for being lazy, fucking lazy I mean. Here’s a piece to share my happiness and what I’ve been doing for the pass one year. I dayre-d everything then copy and paste it here to make things easier. I also just dayre-d about #mymostvolatilerelationship created by Timothy Tiah, you can read if you’re interested. (dayre.me/peggychow)

I’ve been dreaming of writing this post. Every now and then I imagined myself typing this, imagined myself phrasing words and sentences.

“I finally got my Australia visa!!!!”

I was wondering how I should attach my certified passport copy and gave my agent a call. She said she’ll take a look and call me back. Fatty was napping so I crawled onto my bed and lay next to him. Just when I was falling asleep my phone rang and my agent gave me the best news ever! She said our visas were granted but it sounds too good to be true I doubted her. I just kept asking ‘Are you sure? Really? We now have our visas!?’

I’m sure she could tell from the other end how happy I was.

I still am. I couldn’t contain my happiness. Once I was done talking to her I teared. I was so filled with joy my tears couldn’t stop streaming down my face. Then I started sobbing and crying wtf.
I was just really too happy and contended. Way too overwhelmed.

What appears to be just a visa is a dream come true for me. It is not just a visa, but a step closer to the future that I’ve planned for myself. It is a step closer to my dream that I’ve been holding on to since three years back.
I was always very anxious in the midst of applying the visa, I was worried. There were complications and bumps while we apply but yet I try to be very positive and tell myself, it is just a matter of time.

I was so sure that I will get the visa (sometimes I wasn’t that sure, I just kept conflicting myself), I started pinning everything Melbourne related into my Pinterest.
What meal to cook for Fatty, alternatives to healthier food, storage ideas, interior ideas, first aid kit (wtf) and so on.

Fatty was worried. Seeing me being so engrossed, he knew how upset I will be if there won’t be any visa for me. He never encourages me whenever I talk about Melbourne, he just wanted me to think straight. Of course I couldn’t.

He often asked, ‘What’s your plan B?’ Which was also the question I hated the most, I try to dodge whenever I could. I was so determined in getting the visa, I do not have a plan B. Plan B makes me sad and I was applying the law of attraction.

Why think of plan B when I can get my plan A going? I just try to be really positive.

I knew actually I needed a plan B because if I don’t get the visa and I live on without a plan B, my life is screwed. I was working in a pub, as a PR. The first day I started working which was April last year, I already had a plan. I will only work for a year plus while I wait for time to pass to apply for my visa. Meanwhile, I needed to save a chunk of money to bring over because I wouldn’t get a job so fast

Looking at the currency difference, there’s no way I could survive if I don’t save a lot. Using Fatty’s money isn’t one of the option, I don’t want to depend on him in that kind of way. My plan was to just work in a pub, earn as much as I could, wait for the time to pass and apply my visa.

9 to 5 job isn’t an option as the pay was really low. I also hate the part where I have to give two months notice to resign. I just really don’t see the point working in an office.

So despite all the judgment I still brave on and work as a PR, that job that most people detest.

But what people didn’t know was that I hate working as a PR in a pub even more.
Then again, I needed that money.
I just really really needed that money to survive in Melbourne when I couldn’t land a job just yet.

People laughed at me, mocked me, judged me, and questioned me for the nature of my job but there’s this one person who trusted me all along. My fatty.

I thank God for having a very understanding Fatty who were there for me and trusted me despite my job. Either he knows me so well that he trusted me or that he was extremely confident of himself haha.

I probably am the worst PR in Malaysia. What I did at work was just to serve my customers like how a waitress would, then I’ll chit chat and play lying dice or whatever with them. I just entertain them by chit chatting and when I wasn’t in the mood, I tend to be seen as boring. I really don’t care

I don’t drink no matter what the customer said or do. There’s only once when I drank a small glass of beer because the customer attach a Rm50 note with it.
There’s no touching involve because most of the time I wouldn’t stand too close to these men.

As a female you can actually tell which guy will act funny and I will stay away from them. I don’t even allow people to put their hand on my shoulder, I’ll walk away and never go back to that table.

I just wanted the money to survive and whatnot, I didn’t plan on selling my body or whatever.
I see a lot of girls who’s willing to let these guys hug, some kiss even and I can’t in a million years do that to myself. That one customer I’ve always wanted to hug was Fatty haha.

I’ll give excuses like having period when I was forced to drink and jerks will say ‘you’ll feel better after you drink’ and I’ll get mad every time. I’ll say why not you be a lady next life and suffer the agony?

Told you I’m the worst PR. But I do meet nice customers too, who only chit chats with me. Who sometimes offer me jobs and advised me not to work at a place like such because obviously this just doesn’t suit me at all. I do learn things from eavesdropping at their conversations some times lol.

And the best part? Was that my mom fetches me to work and back. I am super safe and people that matters trusted me so much. Why even bother at what other people think?

There are times when I wanted to gave up badly. I was so sick of the place, the job and the people but I pushed myself. I hated the second hand smoke which at some point I will throw tantrum. Sometimes I feel like crying when people bully me at work.

But I preserver in order to chase my dream. No giving up.

Guess what? Everything is so worth it in the end!

God works in a very mysterious way. For the past years I’ve been trying hard to apply for a work and holiday visa and I failed each time no matter how hard I prayed at the temple. I finally knew why.

I wouldn’t make use of the visa even if I was granted one at that time because Fatty was banned. It just wasn’t the time and God knows best!!

I made a promise to my God that if I were to be granted a visa, I will not eat meat on every 1st and 15th of the month (Chinese calendar).

God is amazing like that to know when’s the best time to hand us things we wanted and he thinks we deserve.

It’s not easy for me to stay away from meat as I’m a carnivore but I will stick to my promise. It’s good to know that I can actually spare them poor animals two times a month.
Right now I couldn’t be happier. I wasn’t bless with the chance to study abroad and I don’t have the chance to experience that kind of life but now I am blessed with the chance to work abroad, I am more than happy. That one person that made it all happen for me is Fatty and I am truly thankful for the experience I’m about to have. I am so thankful for the chance that my dad wanted to gave me but couldn’t. He must be very happy for me too, I know.

There’s no any better way. I insisted on chasing my dreams and insisted on doing things my way and now I have it my way.

Thank you my friends who told me that I’ll sure get the visa every time I showed my worries. Thank you Fatty!! Thank you dad! Thank you mom! Thank you God!! Just very very thankful you have no idea!!

I can now go on Pinterest and pin all Melbourne related stuff without being too awkward. So excited!!! :D

At the same time I started appreciating my home a little bit more. Appreciating every corner of my house, I’m sure I’ll miss it. Been staying here for 23 years.

I’ll also miss le mom and le bro a lot. And a lot of my friends.
So conflicted, so happy to leave yet so sad to leave.

Anyway, let me repeat this again.

“I GOT MY AUSTRALIA VISA YO BITCHES!!!! ”