Little did I know that as years passed me by, I subconsciously turn into a girl who no longer dares to fall in love.
I was daring enough to let myself get hurt all over again and again. And I told myself, no I’m not the type of girl who will stay away from love just because it hurts me for I believe one day, things will turn out differently.

But I guess I lost faith and that little bit of spark that burns in me after all the hurt I went through half a year ago.
Just come to realise, I really am afraid of falling in love again. Afraid of just surrendering my heart entirely like how I used to, afraid that all I get is just a crush on my heart at the end of the day.

I cant believe myself, I’m afraid of falling in love. This is insane.
I keep holding myself back, controlling my feelings like how an owner control his dog.
There’s like a war going on at the back of my head, tug-o-war.
I never like holding my feelings back, that is just so not me but that fear in me is so much more stronger.
I know I need to let go.

I probably am letting go.
I don’t know how to not fall in love with him when he’s such a lovable guy.
It’s almost like no effort is needed to love a guy like him.
I guess the dog is on the loss now, owner is letting it go.

The way he treats me, I know he is worth the risk.