*yawn*
sorry for not updating but erm.. yah, updating now.
my brain is shutting down soon. i sleep way too much.
been sleeping a lot lately, not because i’m tired.
i don’t wanna think about anything and the best way is to sleep.

when i saw my own reflection in the mirror, i asked myself why.
how could i be THAT stupid. like really really stupid.
how could i even make that decision to pick something up. something that i once try so hard to let go.
something that make me so depress, probably the only thing i know how to do is cry.

why do i want to give myself hope by saying stupid stuff to myself. i totally do not understand.
like, wth is wrong with me?
but don’t tell me i’ve been told, because from what it use to be, months back till now you really make me feel different.
i just don’t wanna mention and talk about it, which is why i didn’t say anything.
i don’t want to listen to all those reasons that wouldn’t sound right to me.

but whatever it is, when it comes to this point……
the only thing i know is. i am stupid.
the worst thing that came from you is not the answer. but is you telling me i did not change.
i work so hard to change myself, to be so damn patience and not be angry anymore and you told me i did not change.
i made a wrong mistake by letting you in again.

give myself a little bit of time and it will go back to how it use to be.
to be frank. we do not need each other no matter in what sense.
there wont be any turning back after today. everything’s blur but i like it that way. i hate memories.
8 freaking years. i am tired.

there’s too much going on in my mind right now.
too much stuff bothering me.

but then it’s like at the same time i’m not allow to even talk about it.
i wonder sometimes if i’m lucky to have what i have now which is sort of like a dream..
or actually the god is fooling me once again.

even in my dreams, it appears to be the same.
at times i really am not sure which is reality and which is dreams.

i’m sorry but i’m not in the mood to blog and upload the pictures yet.
feeling moody after i came back from redang. what a joke. lol

probably not emo, just moody.
and angry. and disappointed.
not one person. not two person. but three altogether.

the feeling of disappointment.
the sky is crying now. sitting alone in the room.
i just wish that you’re here. we don’t even have to talk.
as long as i know you’re here, all is good.

but truth is you’re not. probably just got the worst news from you today.
maybe i should just stop dreaming and step back to reality.
kind of forget that things always don’t go my way. hah!

i am mentally tired.
i seriously need to take a break before i jump of from any building.

i feel so vulnerable these days.
it’s always like that when i took my shield off.
people these days are so fuck up, they try their best to make you unhappy.
it’s like a joke to them or something.

by the way, i have phobia doing my assignment now.
i need to hand in my assignment to the same lecturer who fail me couple of semesters ago.
he fail my assignment, and now i’m afraid.
sigh, i feel so stone right now.

please will someone bring me to a place where there’s full of nice music so i can stop thinking for a couple of hours.
back to assignment now. bye