The white one looks nicer or the blue one?

I feel so tired.. Very very tired..
Why are you always like that?
All you ever did is just promising this and that but will never do it.
I am so sick of you now, sick of everything you told me because all you know is just say and not do.
I don’t need you to do anything for me now, because I don’t need it anymore.
No matter what you say or what you do,to me you are just you acting.
I am a fool for more than 2 years, and now I wanna stop being such a fool.
I am not going to trust every single word you tell me.
You are the most selfish person I ever saw on this world.
All you think about is only yourself, want other people to care about your feelings, but you don’t want to care for other people’s feeling.
Always scold your brothers and order them to do things as if you are the leader of your house.
Always like to scold back your mom, and not doing well in the exam.
Your excuses for not doing well in the exam is as if you are so right.
I hate you for being like that and this is like the 35468456 times I tell you and you still remain the same. How you want people to treat you good when you treat them like that?
Ya, I don;t wanna care for you anymore because you are such an idiot.
I scold you for not studying and you yell at me, then what for I wanna care for you?
All the things I tell you, you never listen, so why do I still have to care for you?
Please, be a MATURE man, don’t be like a kid. You are 18, not 8.
Don’t wait outside my house or call my brother or what so ever, because you are god damn annoying. Very very annoying and it really disturb me.
So, stop this whole stupid thing.
If you really know you are wrong then do what you should do. You have a brain, use it.
Don’t do stupid thing like waiting outside my house, because I wont fall for this trap anymore.
All this will just annoy me and make me hate you even more.
Since you don’t know how to appreciate me, then just give other guys a chance to appreciate me.
And you cannot say NO or whatever because this is my life and not yours.
I can choose what I want and what I don’t want.
Continue to treat other people like that, and one day people will treat you like that.
And till that day, no one will sympathizes you. Karma will come back.
No one can help you, and only you yourself can help yourself.

Today is 20th of December, my friend’s birthday.
She use to be my good friend. We use to study in the same class for 3 years.
She sit next to me every year. We will talk about everything, from teachers, to boys, to celebrity, to anything we could talk about.
But things started to change when I’m in Form 4. We are not in the same class anymore. And here ends our friendship. I’m lazy to talk about the detail..
Well, I hope she can do well in her studies and be a successful young lady.
________________________________________________________________

I know that friends come and go.
Since primary school till now, I never have a true friend that will stay by my side, and not leave me for other friends. I mean, yah, it is normal to have other friends, but it is sad to see your best friend forget all about you and leave you alone.
I have a best bestfriend when I was in primary six. I just love her, but too bad, I have to shift school. Environment and surroundings keep changing, people we met are not the same anymore and it is just so hard for us to remain close.

And now, so many years later, studying in a college, same things happen to me.
Again and again, my friends leave me one by one.
Having a secondary friend entering the same college as you do is a great thing. Especially that friend is your good friend.
I don’t know. This friend of mine use to be a very competitive girl. She is my good friend sine Form 4. And so happens she is the same college as I am. Still very competitive. I am not saying having a competitive friend is not good, but when she go over broad, it is annoying.
I know she is rich, have a rich boyfriend, but she don’t have to always ‘show’ it. I already know that, don’t have to let me know every day.
And I remember her saying, ‘Peggy, if you met new friends and leave me alone, I will get sad’.
But this is exactly what she do to me.
I know she love them, but she don’t have to go out every single day with them till late at night and lie to her mother that she is with me doing assignment. And please don’t abandon your boyfriend.
You tell me that Alicia knows that Thursday is the day we play badminton and sometimes she don’t go is not a a very good thing. I mean, we love her and want her to join us.
But you also know that Thursday is our day, and why, you aren’t coming anymore?
Why you choose to be with them and not coming for badminton?
Sometimes I really don’t understand you.
You asked me before, what I think bout you, but I did not say it out. I am afraid that you might get offended and will spoil our friendship.
If so happen that you came across this post, this is all the things I wanna tell you.
I don’t have the guts to say it to your face, so I just say it here.
I wish to fix our friendship and not ruin it.
See you when college re-opens.