Thoughts

Dad’s Birthday

August 28, 2007 | 6 Comentaries

Its dad birthday today. I’ve actually lost count on how many years old he should be.
Let me have a count……… 49. He is 49 now and I don’t even know that. I always thought that he is 42, because when he left, he is 42. This is the last present I get for my dad.

I really like this a lot. I told him that the bald grandpa represents him because he is bold. So when he gets old, he sure looks like that grandpa, and the lady beside is my mom. This is how they look like when they get old. But things always never turn out the way I wanted. I can never see him turn old and he can never see me grow.

Dad
I saw a poem I wrote for you long ago but I totally forgot about it. So here it is, a simple poem for you as a birthday present.

———————————————-
Daddy you left so soon
Before I could say goodbye
I found myself wondering if you knew
I had these thoughts of you in my mind.

Daddy do you remember when
I was your tiny little girl
I will pretend to fall asleep on the sofa
So that you will carry me to my bed.

Daddy do you remember when
We went shopping together
You will always ask me
Do I want to buy any toy?

Daddy do you remember when
Every time I cross the road
You will always give me your last finger
And call me to hold tightly so that I can cross the road safely.

Daddy, do you remember when
I fall sick
I refused to eat medicine
And you will always stand by a sweet for me.

Daddy do you remember when
I was bully by friends in school
I will call you up
And no matter how busy you are, you will come straight to me.

Daddy do you remember when
You show me how you care for me in so many ways
Sometimes without saying a word
But I know you always do.

Daddy do you remember leaving me
That very terrible night
I’m sitting beside you, and not knowing
You would be gone forever without saying goodbye.

Daddy I remember these things
You should see your little girl now
Growing up each day
Missing you each day.
Daddy I hope you know
My life is so empty without you
But one thing.. you should know
As I did, as I grew..

Daddy’s love is something I can never forget
And when I look at the sky
I know you are there
Watching over me.
——————————————

3 Years Together

August 12, 2007 | 2 Comentaries

August 11, 2004, is the day me and him get together.
The first time I met him is on my friend Alicia’s birthday party.
I was only 14 at that time. She introduce us and we chat through ICQ.
We started ‘dating’ but without holding hands. Our relationship is an on and off relationship.
Two years later, he shift to my school and I met him everyday but I don’t like him anymore.
Until one day, I saw him wearing his prefect uniform for the first time and the way he look really attract me. However, we never get together because he said that he was afraid of the on and off relationship. One day he told me that if someone fold 999 stars and make a wish, hie or her wish will come true. Straight away I went to Popular to buy papers and make stars.
Whenever there is free time, I’ll make it. No matter it is at school or at home or eating or whatever. When I finally finish making, I told him and he ask me what is my wish.
So obvious, my wish is to be with him and we date till today.
Sad to say, the stars are gone now because I broke it when we were having a fight.

Yesterday was the third year we have been together. We went to Ciao to have our dinner together. We actually decide to go to CafeCafe for our second round but we didn’t make it. He told me that he will be leaving to New Zealand to study pilot. For those who know me, I really hate it a lot.
I have my own reasons. We nearly break up but thanks to Alicia for saving us.
I’m lazy to talk bout the detail so I’ll just leave it.
After everything is cool, we went out to Bukit Bintang to have a walk.

The foods are really nice except for the beef. It is not tasty enough.
But I really like the squid and the seafood soup. Real delicious.

Very nice light, love it.

At Bukit Bintang eating ice-cream. I wanted to go Lecka Lecka but no ice-cream yesterday. Bad.

His picture is so dark. It looks like he enjoys his ice cream.

Thats all. He will be leaving to New Zealand for one whole year.
Omg, I think I couldn’t take it, but I’ll try.
Thinking of it makes me sad.

Might Have To Stop Study

July 31, 2007 | 5 Comentaries

I’m a little confuse here.
I need to have 2 guarantors for my PTPTN loan but I only have one, my mom.
I really couldn’t find another one, no one wants to be my another guarantor.
If I really don’t have two, then I will not be receiving my damn loan and I will not have money to continue my studies, unless my mom is willing to pay for me.

My aunt told me that sometimes, education isn’t everything.
There is still other things like doing business or other jobs and be successful.
But education is something to me. I cant imagine myself not studying.
What job can I do if I don’t study? I really dare not think bout it.
I have dreams and goals in my life. I want to achieve it in my life.

What now? I really might have to stop study.
Theres other stuff I want to do that is going on in my mind.
But I give up very easily when things seems to not work out.
I really am afraid to fail.
I guess I’m really weak. I really need someone to support me.
I hate my attitude actually. Argh, I need help.
I’m so confuse now. I’m really having a damn hard life.

William

July 26, 2007 | Leave a Reply

I was doing my psychology assignment and I saw his name.
William.
This name always remind me of you.
I miss you so dearly.
Just by looking at your name can make me cry.

Conned by Plain Water

June 28, 2007 | 2 Comentaries

I never realize it or should I say I actually never thought of it.
I pick up Today’s newspaper from a stand at my college and I read it while I waited for my mom to pick me up.
I came across this tiny article talking about water.
Yup, you hear me right. A glass of plain water.
I ate at cafes and places like that quite often.
Before, I try to order the cheapest drinks I could, but not the plain water.
After a while, I decide to give it a twist and I pick up the plain water.
Because to me, it is cheap, it only cost 50 cents while other drinks cost at least Rm2.80.
And after reading that article, I realize 50 cents is damn much to pay for a glass of plain water. What the hell, I’ve been conned by these cafes all this while.
No, they didn’t conned me, is that macam ya punya “cheap” glass of plain water conned me. Argh, I feel so stupid.
I actually don’t mind to pay 20 cents or 30 cents to those Chinese coffee shop but 50 cents or sometimes even more sounds a bit ridiculous, heh.

I don’t know.
From the article, “The Ministry wants the association to charge 5 cents and has given a convincing rationale”.
Well, I do hope this 5 cents thingy will come true, then I don’t have to carry my bottle of water everywhere just to save up that 50 cents.
Damn the tipu aku punya plain glass of water.

Edited: Suddenly, I realize that paying RM1 for a bottle of mineral water is also kind of much. Why don’t I also sell water, then I’ll be rich.. :D
Is this post meaningless or what? I suddenly feel very lame..

Father’s Day

June 16, 2007 | 4 Comentaries

So, today is Father’s Day..
I used to hate Father’s Day because everyone is celebrating with it and I cant.
I don’t even bother about Father’s Day and didn’t even wanna know the date of it.
I hate going to the malls on this day seeing fathers holding their daughter’s hand.
Whenever I saw this kind of image, there is a sharp pain in my heart.
There is times where I couldn’t control my tears.

However, this year’s feeling about Father’s Day is a bit different.
I want to give him something,..
I want to give him a card..
I just want to let him know that he will always stays in my heart no matter what happen.
To me, he is the most important person in my life and no one can replace that.

Daddy,
To me; you are the greatest.
Happy Father’s Day…

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