Thoughts
Don’t leave me in all this pain
Don’t leave me out in the rain
Come back and bring back my smile
Come and take these tears away
I need your arms to hold me now
The nights are so unkind
Bring back those nights when I held you beside me
Un-break my heart
Say you’ll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked outta my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart
My heart
Take back that sad word good-bye
Bring back the joy to my life
Don’t leave me here with these tears
Come and kiss this pain away
I can’t forget the day you left
Time is so unkind
And life is so cruel without you here beside me
Don’t leave me in all this pain
Don’t leave me out in the rain
Bring back the nights when I held you beside me
Un-break my heart
Come back and say you love me
Un-break my heart
Sweet darlin’
Without you I just can’t go on
Can’t go on
______________________________________________________
Remember we use to hear this song while you are driving, and me singing along.
Why must it be like this? There is a lot happening and it hurts a lot. Its more than you what you see.
I really hope things will not change but I’m unsure. I hate to cry that much but I couldn’t help it. I wish you were here to give me a warn hug. All I want for Christmas is just a hug from you.
I realize that I’m a very clingy person. I cling to the one I love, I cling to the one I like, I cling to my friends, I cling to my brother, I just like to cling so much. What I don’t like is staying at home alone and don’t know what to do. When he is still here in Malaysia, I really see him everyday. I cling so damn much. Once I woke up, I wanna see him. I want him to be by my side every second. If I really like someone, then I really want that someone to be by my side and accompany me. I sounds a little scary to be so clingy. I think I’m so clingy till the part that I’m really annoying. I don’t know why I’m like that but I cant help it. :(
Ohmygod.. Someone torture me yesterday. Look at my kaki. Kesian betul kaki aku ditorture oleh orang. Have a look..
Poor me. Hmm, but it wasn’t much pain though. This is what call physical torture but I still can handle it. Haha.. :)
And there is someone mentally torturing me too and its so much more pain than the physical one. Physical wounds will heal and its not pain, at least to me. Mentally torture need a whole lot time to recover, or even might not recover. Nothing can beat the torture you gave me since few years back.
P.S: I’m having a slight headache right now. I need a shoulder for me to lean on.
I’m so tired and sleepy right now. My eyes are so bengkak right now. We were suppose to spend our last night sleeping together. I want to be with him for the last few hours. Unfortunately, his dad don’t allow me to stay sleep in his room and ask Shaun to send me back. I cried so hard in the car. His dad say that a girl shouldn’t be so ‘cin cai‘ as in ‘tak apa‘ or so never mind. Its not that I sleep around with guys or what. Its just that I wanna spend the time that I could with him. Argh, whatever, his dad makes us so sad last night.
I was crying in the car so badly and its even worse when I sent him into the gate. I hug him and I cry so hard until I forget to give him a kiss. How I wish I can kiss him now. Such sad feeling..
Suddenly he is gone and is not beside me anymore. I hope he can come back on February for Chinese New Year and I will be going over to New Zealand at the end of April to visit him.
So many pictures I want to share..
November is here..
Its like through out my whole life, I’ve always waited for November to come. But not this time.
I hope November wont come so fast this year, I hope my birthday wont come.
8 more days after my birthday he will be leaving. Every night before I fall deep asleep, the image of me being alone here really scares me. I will be so lonely, so so lonely. Yah, I know I depend on him too much. I’ve got this feeling that words cant describe. How am I going to go through this 1 year without him being by my side. Lonely Christmas, lonely New Year, lonely Chinese New Year, lonely Valentines, lonely Anniversary, even maybe lonely 20th Birthday. Its like so fucking lonely.
I kept telling myself once he is gone I will work, work, work like a cow till January. When January comes, I will study for my 3rd semester, study, study, study until April. And when April is here I will terbang to New Zealand to find him. :) Then its May and I will study study study and then September also study study study for short semester then holiday. Then I will have my internship and by then he will be back. :) Ahh, see, time passes so fast (I’m trying very hard to convince and lie to myself). Argh, this will be the biggest cow shit we have to go through so far. Hope we can really survive in this smelly cow shit.
Enough for all this emo cow shit.. 4 days more and my birthday is here :). I’ve got mix feelings. Happy, sure la, birthday sure happy. Sad, once birthday reach, 8 days more and I’m lonely again.
Anyway, to those Cheras school friends, do come to Shaun’s house on this Saturday to celebrate his farewell as well as my birthday. Come with presents. :D Haha..
If you’ve got no idea what to present me on my birthday, I’ve got some clue for you. :)
Strictly NO Soft toys, photo frames, and those cow shit things please. Although I’m darn short, but I’m an adult now, so don’t present me soft toys. Clothes will do. :)
Shoes will do. Cybershot T70 will do. Levis watch will do. :) Money will do. :)