Dad

The 8th Year

Today is the 8th year and I almost forget about it. Time passes so fast. I’m already 20 this year, without him being by my side and see me growing up is hard. I sometimes wonder if he can see me from far. I remember that morning, everything seems so weird. I was supposed to go to school but no one wake me up. Mom tells me that there is no school today. I want to go to my dad’s room and she say don’t. I went downstairs and all my furnitures are gone. I saw a lot of relatives walking around my house. I keep asking what is wrong and no one answers me. I keep asking and asking till my grandmother tells me. “Your dad is dead”, this is what came out from her mouth. I stood there, right there, stare at her, and keep crying non-stop. How could this be right. I just saw him last night. I heard the elders say that he cant make it but being the little me, of course I still think he will not leave just like that. And right the next day, he is gone forever and ever and ever.
But he still remains in my heart and no one can take over his place. No one in this world. To me, he is the best daddy in the world. I love you.

P/S: Someone told me that I wrote almost the same stuff as last year, and me myself did not even realise it. Sorry for the repeating, but who cares anyway.

Dad’s Birthday

Its dad birthday today. I’ve actually lost count on how many years old he should be.
Let me have a count……… 49. He is 49 now and I don’t even know that. I always thought that he is 42, because when he left, he is 42. This is the last present I get for my dad.

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I really like this a lot. I told him that the bald grandpa represents him because he is bold. So when he gets old, he sure looks like that grandpa, and the lady beside is my mom. This is how they look like when they get old. But things always never turn out the way I wanted. I can never see him turn old and he can never see me grow.

Dad
I saw a poem I wrote for you long ago but I totally forgot about it. So here it is, a simple poem for you as a birthday present.

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Daddy you left so soon
Before I could say goodbye
I found myself wondering if you knew
I had these thoughts of you in my mind.

Daddy do you remember when
I was your tiny little girl
I will pretend to fall asleep on the sofa
So that you will carry me to my bed.

Daddy do you remember when
We went shopping together
You will always ask me
Do I want to buy any toy?

Daddy do you remember when
Every time I cross the road
You will always give me your last finger
And call me to hold tightly so that I can cross the road safely.

Daddy, do you remember when
I fall sick
I refused to eat medicine
And you will always stand by a sweet for me.

Daddy do you remember when
I was bully by friends in school
I will call you up
And no matter how busy you are, you will come straight to me.

Daddy do you remember when
You show me how you care for me in so many ways
Sometimes without saying a word
But I know you always do.

Daddy do you remember leaving me
That very terrible night
I’m sitting beside you, and not knowing
You would be gone forever without saying goodbye.

Daddy I remember these things
You should see your little girl now
Growing up each day
Missing you each day.
Daddy I hope you know
My life is so empty without you
But one thing.. you should know
As I did, as I grew..

Daddy’s love is something I can never forget
And when I look at the sky
I know you are there
Watching over me.
——————————————

William

I was doing my psychology assignment and I saw his name.
William.
This name always remind me of you.
I miss you so dearly.
Just by looking at your name can make me cry.

Father’s Day

So, today is Father’s Day..
I used to hate Father’s Day because everyone is celebrating with it and I cant.
I don’t even bother about Father’s Day and didn’t even wanna know the date of it.
I hate going to the malls on this day seeing fathers holding their daughter’s hand.
Whenever I saw this kind of image, there is a sharp pain in my heart.
There is times where I couldn’t control my tears.

However, this year’s feeling about Father’s Day is a bit different.
I want to give him something,..
I want to give him a card..
I just want to let him know that he will always stays in my heart no matter what happen.
To me, he is the most important person in my life and no one can replace that.

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Daddy,
To me; you are the greatest.
Happy Father’s Day…

That morning..

I remember waking up at seven something and I was confused.
Why mom don’t wake me and my brother up, we were suppose to go to school.
We changed and walked down stairs.
Something is wrong, the furnitures weren’t there.
There is relatives in my house and their face expression is weird.
I knew something is wrong. I knew it.
I asked, but nobody answer me.
I asked again, and my grandmother told me something that will changed my life forever.
My dad died.
Not pass away, but died.
Too harsh for me, and I couldn’t take it till this very second.

Ching Ming

I’ve been waiting for this day for almost two years.
At last, I can see my dad again.

Was so dissapointed last year, I couldn’t visit him, because my uncle (his elder brother) pass away. I don’t know why we cant visit him, this is the chinese ‘law’.
Every year we have to find for his tomb, because there are too many and we always forget the number. I must not forget anymore.. The number is 20.

Three of us pay respect to our father. We grow so much, and all of us are so tall now, compare to seven years ago. I always want to find him, but I have no idea how to go to Nilai. I really want to go there and find him sometimes.

I still remember that day, my hand is full of sand. I threw those sand on to his coffin, and that is the last time I saw his face. So many years has passed now, but I still get sad and I miss him dearly. Argh, I love love love love him…

Hope he gets the letter I burnt him.