why are you always picking on me?
you’re always picking about something. something about me.
why me ?
do you really hate me that much?
you constantly compare me with my cousin sisters, why is that so?
is there really nothing about me for you to be proud of?
i live my own life, you don’t expect me to follow everything you want me to be.
you just have to accept the fact that your daughter, ME is not an A-student.
nor am I a daughter who wakes at 8am, sleeps at 10pm.
work 6 days a week or whatsoever.
Sorry to disappoint you, i really am not that kind of person.
same goes to you.
i just have to accept that you will never give me allowance anymore and seriously, i accepted all the shits from you long ago.
i know you like to pick on me, well fine i try to keep quiet. i tolerate.
but can you please tolerate with me too.
can you like please. PLEASE stop comparing me with anybody else.
if you cant become the mother i wish to have, don’t force me to become a daughter that i cant be.
do you know how much i envy some girls, who can go shopping with their mom. who can laugh and talk.
where the mom will give hugs and kisses.
i know you aren’t like that, which is also why i never force you to be one.
i’m not that bad, am i?
i did not smoke, i did not do drugs, and i can’t even drink.
all i do is go out with my friends because they make me laugh, they make me happy.
there’s a reason why i never like to stay at home.
every time you saw me, you find faults in what i did or what i did not do.
mom, i’m a human.
human make mistakes and sometimes all i did is i forgot to take my hanging clothes from the bathroom.
i forgot, not that i don’t want to.
why can you forgot to turn off the gas stove and i cant forgot about things?
you cant blame me for loving dad more .he never compare me with anyone, he never said any harsh words like you did.
i’m the best for him but yet, for you i’m the worst.
i don’t know what kind of a person i am to you. never dare to ask anyway.
you might think that i’m those happy go lucky girl who never gives a shit about anything, who only knows how to go out and hang out with friends, do shits with friends and whatnot.
im an emo girl, i doubt if you even know that.
i cry a lot and most of the time, i can turn to no one but friends. i doubt if you know that too.
you always seems like you dislike me a lot.
i sometimes wonder, will you be a tad bit happier if i’m gone.
i remember you once said, take a bigger knife and cut yourself, small ones cant kill you..
i remember it till this very day. i remember every single shit you say to me.
it’s like, i wanted to say good morning to you.
but sometimes, i don’t even feel like talking to you anymore.
i guess you’ve no idea how much hurt you bring to me.
and you know what, i have the urge to show this to your bf so he can let you know, how exactly i am feeling.
i’ll never say all this straight to your face, i’ll probably cry till i cant say a single word.
and i too remember, you said.. i cry because i want people to sympathize me.
no mom, that is because i cant control my tears.
i don’t need anyone’s sympathy.
no parent will dislike there own kids, maybe it is the way of there educating the children is not correct. I would advice you to sit down and talk to her as grown up, you no longer a kids anymore. Try to arrange a appointment with your mom and sit down and talk. When we are kids we always blame our parent no good and not fair but when we grow older and look back to the past we might just miss them very much that we can’t even imagine.
cheer up~ jus accidentally found ur website and i read through ur story~ well~ in this world there is too much misery of life~ all we have to do is cheer up~ stand toughly and smile to facing following days~ i cant comment anything bout ur story bcoz i am not u, wat i felt also not that strong as ur feeling~ but i think i do understand.. sometimes .. sadness really make hurt.. just cheer up… be happily,bravely,toughly, facing ur life.. by the way.. ignore the sadness and anger cause of ur mum.. take care~
kenneth: she dislikes me in a way, but of course not entirely. to be frank, i really don’t know how to talk to her because i know at the end of the day we will end up shouting at each other. i want some peace you see. i’m not exactly pointing fingers and blaming, like i mean not totally. i’m just very much hurt and upset.
stranger: i’m not angry at her. im just upset. like really really upset. but that feeling will go in a while. it doesn’t stay too long coz she’s my mom anyhow. i still love her.