It’s finally my turn.
And I can’t believe it.
Seriously, time passes faster than it should.

I feel happy and excited last week because my birthday is finally coming.
But I started to feel really weird yesterday.
I don’t want my birthday to come. I’m not too sure why.
Like suddenly I’m not feeling that happy anymore.

I don’t even know why my birthday reminds me so much of you.
I still remember what you said to me on msn about my birthday back then. Back then when we were still friends.
Missing you at this very moment is not gonna do me any good, it pulls down my mood.

And I miss dad too. Which makes me feel even worse.
I’m gonna be a grown up after the clock strikes 12, dad.
10 god damn years without my dad celebrating my birthday with me.

Shit. I shouldn’t be feeling this way.
I should feel happy. Gah! ):

I don’t know what else to say.
I’m not ready to turn 21. I’m not ready for my birthday. I’m not ready for my birthday party.
I just don’t want it to come.

Because when it’s finally here, it just means the end is at the corner.

The usual pessimistic Peggy Chow, signing off.