Hi people.. :”D (waving frantically wtf)
It seems like I’ve been emo-ing for such a long time that I’m starting to feel tired now. Real tired.
Well, after the past two days of some stupid quarreling or debating or whatever shit it is, I am finally awake. (Clap your hands everyone!)
Things that you said to me is really like a big slap in my face.
Not that I agree on all the shits you say about me, but it is those shits you say that really wake me up.
From every single word you said, there is only one truth.
The truth is that you never try to understand my words, my feelings, and most importantly you never try to understand me. Maybe you can say that it is not the truth but at least to me, you are that way.
To you, I am always on the guilty side. I am always the one to blame. Doesn’t matter if the problem is between you and me, or between your close friend and me, or even between your normal friends and me, I am still the one to blame. Even though others are wrong, even though you are wrong but I am still the one to be blame. I’ve always try so hard to explain to you that I am not the way you think I am but I fail to do that. I fail miserably.
But today, it no longer matters to me. Its ok if you wanna put the blame on me. Its ok if you think I am like this. Its ok for you to think that others and you are all right but not me. Because I realise that what you think is what you think. I am 100% fine now if you think that way. No point for me to explain to someone who points at me and say that I am wrong in the first place.
I seriously let go after that conversation. I finally realise that you really don’t worth my tears. I finally see the real you. I no longer wanna lie to myself. Now I know we are better off this way. Now I see that we have no future from the start. I no longer wanna say you are the one for me, really, because I can feel it. Yeah, total bullshit that is. Seriously, to come to think of it, you really are not the one for me. There are so many things you fail to do but I do not want to mention. If you find your love one, I congrats you from the bottom of my heart and I will wish the girl good luck.
I’ve never feel this relieve. I do not want to cry for you ever again because I can see how not worth it is. I swear this will be put to an end and I hope I really can do it.

Are you people happy for me? (Please say yes even you are not, haha)
Emo things aside, whats next?
Omfg, I fail my subject for the first time ever. :”(
Sad right? And the stupid UCSI decided to raise up the stupid fees for resiting the exam from Rm100 to Rm200. Wtf la, awal tak naik harga, orang fail baru dia naik. Curse UCSI wtf.
But who call me so lazy, everyday masuk class to sleep only. My friend even snap photos while I’m sleeping in class and post it in facebook. Why la my friend like that?
Seriously, I don’t think I can survive if I continue sleeping in class (which is actually the first time only lo..) I no longer wanna be a lazy bum. I need to stop fooling around and really start to put some effort in my studies. I hope I can do that. Encourage me a little bit lah people.

Ok, sad things aside, whats next?
But this one sad thing also. I damn a lot of sad thing one, why ah?
I was suppose to take 2 subjects for this semester but unfortunately I can only take one.
Why? Why? Why?
Because the big spender here spend a lot of money and now not enough money to pay for 2 subjects wtf. Who wanna sponsor me?
I told my mom and ask her can pay for me first or not, then I’ll pay her back by January after PTPTN bank in for me. She say ‘talk money no need to talk’.. -.-
Since she said that, I have no other choice. The next day she said this to me, ‘If you don’t know how to take care of your own finance, you will not be success in your life’. Yes, my bad, my bad.
I’ve been thinking of what she told me for days now and I know what she say is so true.
So, what am I going to do? Sigh, I have to control myself and not use so much money. And and and I am going to work. I seriously need to work already if not sure bankruptcy. I will be more hardworking, study hard and work hard to earn my marks and money. I hope I have high endurance.

Alright, I’m done with all the emo, sad, and suffering stuff. :”D
I wanna cut short my hair. I’ve actually cut my hair before this but now I think its not short enough. Find one day I am going to cut it short and colour it. I’m bored with the black colour hair and also I’ve got this Snips offer where I can get Rm80 off if I do colouring. Good offer right? :”D
I wanted to write a long post but I’m sleepy now. There is a lot of things I want to have. Maybe I’ll just put it into another post some other time.

Faster say you are happy for me. :”D
I am happy for myself.