Its 29th of February, the date where we have every four years. It seems as though I’m in Form 4 yesterday. Time really flies, sigh. I don’t know what I am feeling right now neither do I know how to put it in words. Always, when I realise I’m no longer that girl in secondary school, it somehow makes me moody. Its not that I am getting old or what, its just that I enjoy myself at that time. Each day I find it more and more difficult to live happily. Sometimes I just find it so meaningless. Why am I even here? I am always moody when I am alone, especially night. I kinda hate the fact that I am always so moody and emo but I just cant help. Some of those friends are really getting more and more ……….. not weird, just out of mind. Why can’t things just go normal. Why things always have to be so difficult? Sigh, sometimes I really do feel tired.
I agree. This thinking stuff of the mind is indeed very deep. First of all, let us consider the objects of the mind. So often people identify themselves with their thoughts, or with the perceptions or objects, which come up in their minds. For example, it’s so easy to actually take one’s achievements to be ‘me’, or to be ‘mine’. If I take any achievements to be ‘me’, or to be ‘mine’, the inevitable result of that is pride, and the attachment to praise. How much suffering results from pride? Every time I do something wrong, I will feel that there is some problem there. Very often because of pride, when I do something wrong, I may even lie, just out of taking my abilities to be ‘me’, or to be ‘mine’. That’s why in the world when someone makes a mistake they usually say, “I wasn’t feeling myself today”. “When I do something right, that’s the real me.” So Peggy, all that emo, all that hate, all that mistrust stem from our attachments. Emo stems from our attachment to love; hate stems from our attachment to anger; mistrust stems from our attachment to delusion.
Hope you’re doing well the next time I hear from you.
Ryoko
As time goes , come what may, look ahead and never look back… try accepting + adapting to what come in your way…if u r tired, take a hot nice bath n good night sleep, wake up to a brand new tomorrow… cheer up gal !
Thanks a lot.. :) I appreciate that.. Thank you..