How much trust do you actually put on people next to you? What is trust? Why do we have to trust people? The more I trust one person, the more hurt I am. People always break the trust another person have on them. I don’t feel like trusting people anymore. Not even a single person. I now realise its better to be a pessimist than an optimist. I trust people with all my heart and yet they break the trust. Isn’t it better when I be a pessimist and think all things negatively because the fact is the real world is this ugly. There isn’t any shits like love, shits like fate, shits like trust, shits like friends, whatever shits that sound so nice but in fact, they doesn’t really exist.

There is no such thing as ‘If we are meant to be together, nothing will break us apart’. This are all bullshits, dogshits, elephantshits, fucking shits. I don’t think I will ever wanna put a trust on someone anymore. I don’t wanna trust him, I don’t wanna trust friends, I don’t wanna trust lecturers, I don’t wanna trust strangers, I don’t even wanna trust my family members. I wanna trust no one. Its the best not trusting people because in the end, you will not get hurt at all. Why wanna trust people and get hurt in the end? Where is the point?

I’m so fucking tired to trust everything people say, to be so fucking naive and think that the people in this world are actually nice people. There are no nice people, only selfish people. Human is the scariest thing ever. I will never put all my trust on anyone anymore. Its better to be alone because no one can hurt you. The thing one can trust is only money.

Its better to protect myself than to let someone else protect me.
They will turn around and walk away anytime.
Trust money, don’t trust human. Human betrays, money don’t.
Its better to hate than to get hurt.

Sing K –> Singing in Karaoke (in case you are that dumb to know what is sing K)

*I use to mute myself whenever I go sing K with friends but I don’t know since when I’m so addicted to it. I almost go sing K with my friends every week.

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Yay!!!
I finish my one and only paper today.
Mega relieve.
Lucky I did use some time to study or else I’ll be dead.
Its not as hard as I thought but I’m still not sure if I can pass it. My internal marks are quite low. :”(
There’s two international students sitting beside me exchanging answers while the exam is on.
Keep talking and talking, damn distracting.

The very ‘good’ me who cannot tahan anymore go and tell the lecturer when I hand in my paper. Not sure what happen to them later on. Hahaha..

There’s three things on my mind recently.
The first is daddy. Suddenly I miss him a lot. He appears in my mind a lot lately, not sure if the cause is me being moody. I wish I can dream of him at night and he will tell me things will turn out fine.

The second is the usual thing that bothers me. That someone is on my mind almost everyday.
I know what I’ve been thinking is impossible but I just cant stop thinking. By thinking, that is the only time where I can imagine the impossible.

Comes to the third, which is a happy one. :”)
I’m thinking how to furnish my new room. Not that I get the room now, but its only few months away.
By end of the year, I’ll have my own room. I’ve been thinking so so much on the new room. Damn excited loh..

Very very stress.
My final paper is on the 14th and I seriously know nothing about it.
Not that I don’t want to study, I did try.
But I just don’t understand what am I reading and I can’t seem to concentrate.
A lot of silly silly stuff is bothering me.
I hope I can stop myself from thinking not so important things first and bloody concentrate on my paper.
Stress stress stress…

Have a safe flight back to New Zealand.
Do not forget you still owe me Lecka Lecka.
I will get my Lecka from you after 3 months, ngek ngek.
All the best in all your tests and flights.
Good Luck. *winks*
Bye bye again lu…

Good Morning! Its day number 2 in Malacca. Haha, I know I’m lame. -.-

* Well, that’s my feet on Twenty’s wooden floor.

The Wah’s family sleeps like a pig and the other 3 of us woke up quite early to roam the streets again.

* Er…. the green gate….

After the 3 pigs woke up, we went back to Twenty to camwhore. :”D

* Yin Yee, Tall Giraffe, Short Giraffe, and Esther.

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Yiip, I’m back from Malacca. Omigod, Malacca is extremely freaking hot. Its so much hotter than KL because there isn’t much trees.

* This is the place we sleep in. Twenty, a guest house.

* Our room, which cost us RM40 each person. My bed, Yin Yee’s bed, and Esther’s bed.

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…here I come!!!

I’m going to Malacca, I’m going to Malacca, I’m going to Malacca!!!
:”D

Wow, it seems as though its been quite a long time I didn’t really put down my thoughts in my blog.
I use to always tell out whatever feelings I have in here, especially when I’m sad.
I didn’t talk bout my feelings for quite some time, does that mean I’m not sad? I don’t really know.
I’ve been thinking of typing my feelings, but these days, I don’t know what stop me from doing it.
Today, my friend just told me that I’m so lazy to blog, only dump in pictures. Haha..
I admit I’m kinda lazy to blog these days, just pictures and that’s it.

This two weeks is just so unpredictable.
I know the truth quite well, but I just don’t wanna accept it.
I don’t wanna accept the fact that it is actually zero. ZERO!
I asked again and again, wishing that the answer is different.
Why do I still want to lie to myself at this very moment? Sometimes, being a optimistic person is not that good after all. Good things always don’t come my way. I don’t know.

However, after waking up this morning, I start to put some sense into myself.
I wake up and I feel nothing. I asked myself why don’t I feel sad when last night I keep crying.
I can’t find the answer till my friend told me that is because I already let go apart of it without myself realising it. My heart still hurts when I think about it. I constantly blame myself over this.

I wish I can turn back time. I guess everybody wish. I have to keep reminding myself, whats done is done. All I can do is learn from my mistake. But hell, the price for this mistake is just so big, I almost couldn’t afford it. Compare to before, I am much better although not fully recover. I think I’ll be alright after few more months. I’ve let go apart of it, I just have to work harder and let go the other half.

I wanna smile like this every time and be happy. I wish I could.